Life After... Part 1 :Allow Me To Introduce Myself

Allow Me To Introduce Myself

If you can help it don’t ever grow up with your heroes. And please at all cost avoid being related to them. These are unfortunate events you will never live to be bigger than. It’s like walking with a giant at noon; you will never get past the shadow. You can live in the coolness of the shade but the giant will always be a constant reminder of what you are not, a giant.

Heroes do not exist and there are no giants, just humans. Humans who cannot reach for the stars because the sky is the limit. Heroes are imaginary friends. We create them out of our own insecurities. There super power is the ability to inhabit every quality we believe we don’t have.  And like monsters they disappear when we stop believing. I lost my faith a long time ago.

If you are wondering who the hell am I to rain on your parade, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Emerald Apostle. I’m the son of Zeus and Alcemena, brother of Merry and Paul. I’m everything that’s good and bad in the black community. Most importantly I’m still here. And that’s really all that matters.

People may attempt to tell you the truth about me, don’t believe them they are liars. Everybody sees something different even if they see it at the same time. Their faith is there folly. I’m only an allusion, a mirror to their ego. What they see in me is what they love or hate about themselves. I’m not that simple.

If you would call me a despicable person you would be right to a certain degree. I realized a long time ago I have no morals, just values.  And I’m at peace with the difference. I understand how that leads some to think I have honor. There wrong all I have I’ve ever had was pride. I’m sure after you hear the whole story you will know the difference.

 Most of things I’m about to tell you I’m not proud of. I want you to hear it from me first. Most of this you won’t believe but all of it is as true as I am at liberty to say. Ten years ago I couldn’t write this. I thought I would live forever. Five years ago I discovered I was wrong. And I don’t know why but that made a huge difference.

 I realize because I’m writing about my universe and not the world. The events chronicled here won’t matter to most of the people on earth. But I’m compelled to at least have my side of the story documented. Think what you may. This is how I know it to be. I accept the consequences that come with that choice. Knowing that anything that happens because of this I did to myself.

Make no mistake about it, I’m writing this for selfish reasons. I don’t want to be your idol. I don’t need your praise or admiration. I just don’t want you to hate me. I know as much as we as humans need heroes we need villains even more. And if all you get out of this son is that I’m neither, that’s all I can hope for. But if I dare to hope for anything else, I hope you slay the giants in your life and find happiness looking at stars you know you’ll never touch.