Platonic Friends, Cutty Buddies, and Those In Between

There are some great reasons not to have sex with the women that I have met recently, or even female friends from a long time ago. Pretty much every one of them has matured into either a cool friendship or a profitable business relationship. There are sides to a woman that go virtually unnoticed when you are focused on her physical attributes. Obviously, sex is fun, and great, and awesome, but it isn’t everything. There are so many benefits to not doing “it” to the ladies in your life.

Being single isn’t cheap, so choosing not to go out on dates is another major plus.  I get to hang out with ladies without any pressure to buy them drinks or food, or answer questions about where I’ve been. In fact, my homegirls don’t even question me when I go weeks without hitting them up. Dope!

The gains in intimacy, sharing private and sometimes personal thoughts, and communication are way more valuable than a little bumping and grinding. I’ve learned to listen to women better and in the future, I’m sure that will be valuable to whichever lady cracks the Spurvinci Code. I listen to my friends and their crazy love lives and I start questioning ALL WOMEN’s actions. It’s amazing what truth is revealed when you don’t have any emotional ties to someone. The things I have learned in these last few months may have sealed the deal for me when it comes to relationships.

Before this epiphany, I didn’t believe in platonic relationships. I thought there is always going to be some type of sexual attraction. These days, I have no desire to look at ladies in a sexual manner. It’s actually kind of disgusting to think about.

My new single-dom isn’t all roses and red wine. I don’t think I can ever trust another woman enough again to fall in love with her. Like seriously, can time really heal a broken heart? Maybe mine is just old and defective. Since the breakup, I have met quite a few amazing ladies, but haven’t had thoughts of pursuing any of them further than friendship. I decided that I was going to go the route of celibacy for a while. Sex tends to make things awkward when neither of the two have expressed interest in taking the relationship further. Why ruin the laughs and the good times? Once the deed is done, it’s hard to go back to

But ever since I could no longer feel the pain in my stomach of knowing that I wouldn’t wake up to the person I sacrificed everything for, I began to realize that love may not ever exist here again. I really don’t know how to go from engagement to falling in love with another woman. I’ve always believed that a person can love more than one person at a time, but what happens when your heart is broken? Is it possible to ever trust someone like that again?


Spurgeon Thomas

Urbanity Life, LLC, San Diego, CA


I am a #writer#businesssystemsanalyst, and #projectmanager, specializing in community improvement and creative project management. @urbanitylifesd